Formal letter of introduction
Dear Mr. Blackstone,
I am Low Jiang Hao from telematics, class group 3. It is a privilege to be under your guidance of the module, technical communication and I look forward to work on improving my communication and social skills.
I graduated from Ngee Ann Polytechnic (NP) and graduated with a Diploma in mechanical engineering specialising in automotive technology and motorsports in 2015. In the course of my studies, I led a team of nine members for the capstone project and the goal was to create a semi autonomous electric vehicle. It was a magnificent journey partly because it was the first of its kind between polytechnics, but it was through effective communication and cooperation that the project was a success.
Returning to school after more than two years has been difficult, especially with subjects such as, math and physics, which play a major role in engineering. The pace also plays a significant role since there is much to learn in a short period of time. I have chosen telematics as my preferred choice of study since it is directly related to my capstone project. I hope to bring over what I had done in the previous project into SIT and continue to improve on it as learn through this course of study. However, in terms of communication, I face difficulties when it comes to writing essays and emails since I am not able convey my expressions clearly. I am confident that with your guidance, I will be on the right track.
I have a passion for automobiles and firearms. I spend most of my time reading about vehicle components, understanding the function of its design and maintenance. I spend my remaining time at the skeet shooting range to hone my accuracy, however, more importantly, it is my way of relieving stress. In addition I am also part of the national shooting team and my most significant accomplishment was winning the silver medal at my debut in the South East Asian Games (SEA-Games) in 2015.
Thank you for your time and I look forward to our upcoming classes.
Best regards,
Low Jiang Hao
Edited;
29/09/17
Read/Commented (Updated as of 29/09/17);
Kelvert
Charlyn
I am Low Jiang Hao from telematics, class group 3. It is a privilege to be under your guidance of the module, technical communication and I look forward to work on improving my communication and social skills.
I graduated from Ngee Ann Polytechnic (NP) and graduated with a Diploma in mechanical engineering specialising in automotive technology and motorsports in 2015. In the course of my studies, I led a team of nine members for the capstone project and the goal was to create a semi autonomous electric vehicle. It was a magnificent journey partly because it was the first of its kind between polytechnics, but it was through effective communication and cooperation that the project was a success.
Returning to school after more than two years has been difficult, especially with subjects such as, math and physics, which play a major role in engineering. The pace also plays a significant role since there is much to learn in a short period of time. I have chosen telematics as my preferred choice of study since it is directly related to my capstone project. I hope to bring over what I had done in the previous project into SIT and continue to improve on it as learn through this course of study. However, in terms of communication, I face difficulties when it comes to writing essays and emails since I am not able convey my expressions clearly. I am confident that with your guidance, I will be on the right track.
I have a passion for automobiles and firearms. I spend most of my time reading about vehicle components, understanding the function of its design and maintenance. I spend my remaining time at the skeet shooting range to hone my accuracy, however, more importantly, it is my way of relieving stress. In addition I am also part of the national shooting team and my most significant accomplishment was winning the silver medal at my debut in the South East Asian Games (SEA-Games) in 2015.
Thank you for your time and I look forward to our upcoming classes.
Best regards,
Low Jiang Hao
Edited;
29/09/17
Read/Commented (Updated as of 29/09/17);
Kelvert
Charlyn
Dear JiangHao,
ReplyDeleteYour introduction letter was specific, to the point and clear. Looking forward to learn from you.
Regards,
Jerome
Dear JiangHao,
ReplyDeleteYour introduction letter is short and to the point.
Regards,
Junjie
Dear Jianghao,
ReplyDeleteI can definitely feel your sincerity in your introduction and I admire your courage to openly talk about your struggles. The passion you have for cars and shooting is one I can relate to because I am enthusiastic about yoga. I wish you all the best and I hope that your communication skills will improve through this learning journey.
Regards
Charlyn
Dear Jianghao,
ReplyDeleteYou have an interesting hobby and it is also related to your degree. I believe that you will be able to do well as your passion is in these field. Maybe you could plan your future job in the military sectors. Being a friend to you, your expression skills is quite well whenever I have doubt about some question. I am confidence that you will be able to progress well in technical communication. And please do tell me more about your hobby, I am quite interested to know them.
Regards,
Kelvert Foo
Dear Jiang Hao,
ReplyDeleteI like your writing style, its straightforward and allows the reader to understand with ease. It's great to know we shared the same interests in the subject, looking forward to realize this as a class.
Kind Regards,
Yong Sheng
Dear Jiang Hao,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this comprehensive self-intro. I appreciate the detail you provide throughout the letter, but in particular, when you discuss your various passions. I only am left to wonder how you developed these interests in the first place.
As for your capstone project, you mention that "It was a magnificent journey partly because it was the first of its kind between polytechnics." What does this mean? Was it a cross-poly project?
Regarding your perceived weakness, with writing essays, I’d say this is nearly a universal perception at SIT. It’s my belief that if the old adage ‘practice makes perfect’ ever applies, it is in this case. As you can already see, we’ll work on that this term.
In terms of language use, here are a few items to take note of:
1) inconsistent and inaccurate use of capital letters:
-- the module, technical communication >>> the module, Technical Communication,
-- Diploma in mechanical engineering >>> diploma in mechanical engineering
2) I hope to bring over what I had done in the previous project into SIT ... >>> (phrasing)
I hope to bring what I had done in the previous project into SIT
3) I spend most of my time reading about vehicle components, understanding the function of its design and maintenance. >>> (What does "it's" refer to?)
4) I spend my remaining time at the skeet shooting range to hone my accuracy, however, more importantly, it is my way of relieving stress. >>> (comma splice _ see https://owl.english.purdue.edu/engagement/2/1/34/ ) ?
5) In addition I am also part of the national shooting team and my most significant accomplishment was winning the silver medal at my debut in the South East Asian Games (SEA-Games) in 2015. >>> (punctuation: need for the use of commas)
I look forward to learning even more from you this term.
Cheers,
Brad
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Delete